GUARDIAN ANGEL IN DISGUISE

WHEN I AWOKE IN COUNTY JAIL AND REALIZED THAT I WAS INDEED MOST LIKELY RETURNING TO PRISON FOR THE SECOND TIME, I WAS DEVASTATED. TO SAY THAT IS PUTTING IT VERY MILDLY. FOR I ALSO KNEW THAT MY FAMILY, FRIENDS AND ANYONE THAT I HAD GAINED TRUST WITH WERE INDEED OUT OF MY LIFE. FRANKLY, I KNEW ALSO THAT I HAD NO ONE ELSE TO BLAME EXCEPT MYSELF. MY SISTER HAD INFORMED ME THAT SHE WAS DONE, THAT IF I BEGAN TO MAKE POOR CHOICES AGAIN SHE JUST COULDN'T CONTINUE TO BE A PART OF MY LIFE. SO, I KNEW, AND HONESTLY I COULDN'T BLAME HER. THIS WAS DEVASTATING AND HEART- WRENCHING. I FELT THAT I WAS ALL ALONE, WHICH I WAS, AND THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ANY LOVE COMING, FROM ANY SOURCE. I KNEW THAT THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO DO THE TIME, WAS WITH SOMEONE ON THE OUTSIDE. I NEEDED A PEN PAL. I SEARCHED MY HEART AND I KNEW THAT I AND I ALONE HAD BURNT ALMOST ALL BRIDGES TO ANY ONE THAT WOULD BE A DECENT PEN PAL. HOWEVER, ONE MORNING I AWOKE, THOUGHT OF A PERSON WHOM I HAD KNOW FOR TWENTY-FIVE YEARS, WHO WAS A KIND AND VERY ARTICULATE MAN. I COULD EVEN RECALL HIS ADDRESS. THAT IN ITSELF WAS A HUGE BONUS. SO I PROCEEDED TO WRITE HIM A BRIEF LETTER. I EXPLAINED THAT I HAD REALLY MESSED UP, AND THAT I REALLY, DESPERATELY NEEDED, AND WANTED A GOOD PEN PAL. IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE HE RESPONDED. I WAS OVERJOYED THAT HE WOULD EVEN RESPOND. THE LETTER, HOWEVER, WAS NOT ALL THAT ENCOURAGING. YOU SEE, HE WAS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC, 77, AND HE SAID THAT HE FELT THAT THESE THINGS NEVER SEEMED TO WORK OUT. HE GAVE ME A LITTLE GLIMMER OF HOPE THOUGH WHEN HE TOLD ME THAT IF I WROTE TO HIM WHEN I GOT TO WHERE I WAS GOING, HE WOULD MAKE A DECISION THEN. LONG STORY SHORT: ONCE I GOT TO LIVE OAK PRISON IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA, I WROTE IMMEDIATELY. IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF DAYS UNTIL I GOT A MUCH ANTICIPATED, WONDERFUL LETTER. HE ALSO EXPLAINED THAT HE WOULD BE WILLING TO CORRESPOND WITH ME. HOWEVER, HE ASKED THAT I PLEASE NOT ASK HIM FOR THINGS. WELL, THAT WORKED GREAT FOR ME, AS I TRULY JUST WANTED A GOOD PEN PAL, WHO WOULD WRITE. I NEVER ASKED HIM FOR ANYTHING. HOWEVER, MY DEAR STEPHEN NOT ONLY WROTE TO ME AT LEAST TWO OR THREE TIMES A WEEK, HE ALWAYS SENT ME POSTAGE STAMPS, PICTURES, AND GREAT JOKES THAT TRULY SAVED MY SPIRIT IN SUCH A HELLISH PLACE. STEPHEN AND I ARE DEAR, DEAR, DEAR FRIENDS; AND I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH. HE TOUCHED MY HEART AT ONE OF THE HARDEST TIMES AND TRULY SOFTENED IT. HE MADE ME BELIEVE IN ME AGAIN, AND I COULDN'T AND WOULD NOT HAVE EVER STARTED THIS BLOG WITHOUT HIS ENCOURAGEMENT, SUPPORT, AND LOVE. THANK YOU, STEPHEN T. , FOR LOVING ME, WHEN I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO LOVE MYSELF. YOU ARE FOR CERTAIN ONE OF THE FIRST GUARDIAN ANGELS THAT CAME INTO MY LIFE.